Advisory Service

[one beep]

DIS Representative

This data is controlled and monitored by the Office of Phenomena Management.

[one beep] 

Hello, agent. We have reviewed your submission of requisition NC30477-R. Your request has been approved by the Department of Information Security. You are permitted to listen and analyze but not to act.

You have been provided with all the recordings the agency has pertaining to the Kalambash Incident. You will listen to the items in the order presented by Agent Crow to his department head, Agent Kingfisher. The recordings include the dialogue between these two agents during their review.

The field agent recordings and found recordings take place from April 11th, 1998, to May 26th, 1998. All dialogue between Agents Kingfisher and Crow takes place on May 28th, 1998. You can find more information on the recordings, locations, and involved individuals on the OPM Intranet, accessible on [website]. Your login passcode for the restricted sections is b1rd5. That’s Bravo One Romeo Delta Five.

Of those involved in this case, Agent Crane and person of interest Melanie Kirk are still missing as of your requisition approval date.

Please note that all recordings are listed as ‘unreliable sources.’ This is due to the following reasons:

1. Recorded civilians are not agency-vetted.

2. Most recordings are from D-class or lower environments.

3. Audio manipulation is present on multiple recordings, including those captured by agency operatives.

4. At least one source is assumed to be operating under a false identity.

5. Recordings capture multiple incidents of previously undocumented phenomena.

We assume the recordings from the agents are the most accurate in this case. However, you will experience changes in the recordings on subsequent listens. These anomalies are noted by Agents Kingfisher and Crow during their dialogue.

This case has been officially closed. There is to be no further action by the agency in Kalambash, North Carolina or the surrounding areas. As of June 1st, 1998, the black site at Crooked Mountain is monitored under the Dead Bird Protocol.

As a reminder, you are only permitted to listen and analyze.

The recordings begin after the tones.

[three beeps]

Crane

(clears throat) Agent Crane. Entry one. May 22nd, 1998... 1432 by my watch.

It’s a rainy Friday afternoon here in Kalambash, North Carolina, I’m on my fourth cup of coffee, and, for the record, I hate that you’re making me do this. (deep sigh) I’m not saying my name every time. Feels too ridiculous. You know it’s me.

This morning, I spoke to our contact, Melanie Kirk. We met at Shakers at about 0800. Ms. Kirk is in her late twenties. She’s about 5 foot 6, has short black hair, pretty blue eyes, and dresses like uh... shoot... the uh... the best friend from Daria. Dammit. I know you don’t watch that stuff, but it’s gonna bug the hell out of me now.

Kirk prefers to go by Lenny. I will continue to refer to her as Kirk in my report.

And as a point of personal interest, do you have any idea if there are any Shakers locations anywhere else? I swear all those places closed up like five years ago. And not for nothing, but they don’t do anything that Hooters doesn’t do better. I mean, aside from... breakfast, I guess... but I don’t know why you’d want breakfast at Hooters. Doesn’t really matter. Just, just thought I’d ask.

Anyway... Kirk was a little twitchy when we spoke. Seemed to be constantly looking over her shoulder. Wouldn’t say why, but I think recent events are more than enough reason. If I’m being honest, I’d probably jump at my shadow too if I was in her shoes. Girl looked like she hadn’t slept in days. Still had time to put on too much eye liner though.

[Coffee pour, cup set down]

Ahh. Thank you. Um... quick question for ya.

Katy

Oh. Sure. Whatcha need, sugar?

Crane

Shakers. Are you guys the only location left?

Katy Cole

Ha. I think so. I know corporate went bottoms up, but they lost track of us back in the 80s. A clerical error or somethin’. Now we just kinda do our own thing. Which is kinda the same thing we were doin before but now the tea’s sweeter and we serve breakfast.

Crane

Thank goodness for sweeter tea.

Katy Cole

Amen to that, sugar! Let me know if you need anything else! [exits]

Crane

[whispering]

Well there ya go. The last remnant of a sad knockoff. And the tea’s too sweet.

[normal]

Where was I? Right. Kirk.

She said she was originally from DC and just needed some time away from the city. Took a job as the fire watch at the old tower here on Crooked Mountain.

I did take a look at some photos. That building cannot be up to code.

I don’t suspect she was running from any issues we need to be concerned with, but I’ve got Elm running a background check just in case. I’ll add anything of value to my written report. Which will be late. The motel doesn’t have a fax, so I guess I’ll just have to hand deliver it.

[sip] Ah.

Now, Ms. Kirk has informed me that she made two calls to 911 on April 17 and three calls on May 7th. I’ve requested the files on all those calls, but it seems that the local blues don’t like outside interference. Go figure.

Kirk gave me the giiiist, but it would be nice to see the official call reports AND the coroner’s report from May 10th. Kirk said the police only made their way out there once. I get that they don’t have the capacity to investigate every single call, especially when you’ve got some of these mountain folks crying bigfoot. But still, only one response to five calls?

On the topic bigfoot, that seems like the kind of thing that Ms. Kirk was leaning towards in some of her ramblings. Now don’t get me wrong. I enjoy a good urban legend as much as the next guy, but if these people turn out to be some x-files wackos, I’m putting in for a desk job.

Speaking of which, I really need you to back me on this one with Crow. I mean, with the wedding coming up and everything else with Lynne. [sigh] Just... you owe me. Okay?

Alright. I’m gonna finish up here at Shakers and then make my way to the quarry. I’ll probably try and give you a call later this evening.

Jane Lane! Is the character’s name from Daria. At least I got that figured out. Bye, I guess?

[click]

[rain]

Crane

[speaking with face in hands]

Ughhhh. The day turned sour.

[Lifts head]

Entry two, May 22nd, 1998. About 1900, I think. My watch died.

I went to the quarry, and not 10 minutes into looking around, the sky opened up. I mean, it was hell trying to move around that place. I fell face first in a puddle the size of Texas. My suit is done. There is no amount of dry cleaning that’s gonna save it.

Anyway, uh, there’s a lot to that place, the quarry. Or, I guess I should call it the Van Blair Quarry. The name was all over the place. Mostly on the no trespassing signs. It was hard to tell in the rain, but there might have been some surveillance hooked up out there. Maybe I can get in touch with the Van Blair’s and see if they’ll give me access.

And, ya know, I am a little spooked. I swear there were dogs or something out there. It might be a good idea to pick up some bear spray.

(laughs)

Do we have standard issue bear spray? I bet the DOI would be willing to share.

[pause]

Come to think of it. Would there be a ranger posted out here? The lookout tower is in the state park. Could be something to look into, ya know? Just in case.

Alright, well. I’m calling the day a bust. I’ll try the Van Blairs in the morning and then get back over to the quarry after that. Then I’ve got another meeting with Ms. Kirk later in the day. I should probably get a recording of the events from her. I can see if it lines up with the coroner’s report, whenever I get that.

It was supposed to be gruesome though. And not just gruesome, but weeiiirrrd. Like, serial killer weird. You remember Wahkullah? Phew. I don’t know if I’ve got another one of those in me. That was a hell of a trip though.

[loud thump and door chain catch]

The hell? Hey! HEY!

[Men’s soggy dress shoes running]

Crane

[from a distance]

Get back here! STOP!

[screech, horn honk, dry shoes entering, eventually soggy footsteps returning]

Crane

(panting)

Someone just broke my damn door in. The chain stopped ‘em and they took off. Almost got hit by a truck. Jesus!

(exhale) Suspect was about six feet, 190 pounds. Uh. Male, black hoodie, light blue jeans. Ahhhhhh... brown leather hiking boots with red laces.

What the hell? Pheeeew.

I thought I was calling it an early night. I gotta phone the local PD, switch rooms, and then try to fig-

[sounds of struggle, Second person knocks out Crane, Sound of shoes approaching recorder and hand picking the recorder up, Then the recorder is turned off.]

[two beeps]

Crow

And that’s Agent Crane’s last recording until the May 25th incident.

Kingfisher

Three days?

Crow

Yes.

Kingfisher

We have clear indications of a struggle. Likely an abduction. Have we figured out where Crane was or who had him during that period?

Crow

Maybe? Crane’s recorder had a tracking device built in that reports the location when requested. Tern and Jay found it in the dumpster of a Big Pine gas station off Highway 221... along with a document.

[sound of opening a file cabinet and a large paper document being slapped down on a table]

This has been dubbed the Gas Station Manifesto; 120 pages of poststructuralist bullshit. It also happens to call out the OPM directly, among other government agencies.

Kingfisher

So, one of our agents is a hostage of some fringe group?

Crow

No. Crane got out. We’re not sure how or when, but he had a hand in the Kalambash black site shutdown.

Kingfisher

You think he was compromised?

Crow

Maybe. We have reports that Crane was talking to someone on the 25th, but none of our agents could confirm that anyone else was with him.

Kingfisher

Was he using a communication device?

Crow

That’s unlikely for two reasons. One, the Kalambash black site systems are incredibly effective at blocking communication, and two, Crane was heard addressing Agent Finch.

Kingfisher

Finch?

Crow

I know.

Kingfisher

Crane passed all psych evals. There were no indications of mental distress, same as us.

Crow

I know.

But Crane talking to Finch honestly ranks pretty low on the list of crazy in this case.

Kingfisher

Is there anything else on Crane’s recorder?

Crow

Yes. There’s one other recording. It’s a message from his abductors. Playing it now.

[click]

[three beeps]

Unknown Operative

Well, now, isn’t this a nice gift. You’ve sent a bird right to our tree. I don’t recall ordering one though. (chuckles)

Aaaanyway. We’ve had eyes on that little black site you’re investigating for a while now, so there’s really no reason for you to come meddling around in things that don’t concern you. Especially when government interference is the real issue in Kalambash. Though I suppose that’s a discussion we’ll have to have at a future date.

(clears throat) Along with this recording, you’ll find a little document. You’ll search it for clues about who we are, but we put in a lot of effort to keep out any revealing information. Aw.

Sadly, it’s not quite the right time for us to come out of the shadows. And really, I’m disobeying a direct order by even sending you this message. I must admit, I do have a bit of a rebellious streak... an issue with authority, as it were.

Please, read the document. It is important. We know how badly things sometimes end with your office. If you could just... try to understand our intentions, you might find that you actually agree with us.

I guess we’ll see. In the meantime, we’ll take care of this little bird for you. (gets serious) You’ll receive further information soon.

[two beeps]

Kingfisher

Damnit. Do we have any information on these people?

Crow

No.

Kingfisher

Nothing? Really? That’s rather unprecedented territory.

Crow

(scoff) This whole job is unprecedented territory. You want to act like any of this is normal?

Kingfisher

Well...

Crow

C’mon. Seriously? I’ve been here for almost 20 years. I’m still surprised by every case.

Kingfisher

You hide it well.

Crow

Sure. Not nearly as well as you, though.

Kingfisher

Responsibility tends to keep my emotions in check.

[pause]

Speaking of responsibility... there’s, uh, there’s something I need to tell you-

[one beep]

DIS Representative

The remainder of this conversation is redacted. If you have the required clearance, you can find more information on the OPM Intranet.

[one beep]

This data is controlled and monitored by the Office of Phenomena Management. Further information can be found on the OPM Intranet at [website].

As a reminder, you are only permitted to listen and analyze.

Please report to your supervisor if you believe you have [static]

Please report to your supervisor if you believe you have [static]

Please report to your supervisor if you believe you have [static]

[four beeps]

Please report to your supervisor if you believe you have heard too much.